shatteredparadigm
10-30-2009, 04:36 AM
Dom`e EWS
Darkened pupils darken dreams,
the minds of men are fragile things.
I see her
When the exhaustion overtakes me,
when the lines blur and each saccadic eye movement
flashes her image lucidly into my mind.
I see her
in the reflections of pictures,
pictures of people,
memories that don't mean much, other than everything I once loved.
She is my dream, she is my nightmare.
No, she is my only dream.
She is a nightmare, not mine
but she has chosen me.
I take stock of my inventory, my equipment for my journey.
Xanax, Valium, Trazodone, OTC sleeping pills, pure GABBA and 5-HTTP. Oh yes, her calling card. Opium. Raw and unrefined. Maybe half a kilo left. Almost forgot, have two shots of epinephrine and a dose of methamphetamine in case I need to come back. Course, no one is here to give them to me. Maybe it's just to make myself feel safe.
I mix the pills and the powders and down it with some Whiskey, cause that's a man's drink. I used to try to be scientific, carefully measure out dosages; trying to find her signet, her symbol, her seal.
I found her mark to be an art. Painted in chemicals within my brain. Each differing from the last, each needing the feeling only humanity can give. Grotesquely beautiful.
I dose her into my mind and slip from this world. Floor is cold, metal or stone.
Dead.
I am alone.
Fuck.
So quiet, so still. Hours, days, decades pass and nothing matters.
That’s when I hear those footsteps.
Heaven's gate, she walks.
Hell's passion in heels.
I see her for the first time with clarity. The way God must see man. No, the way man must see God.
Her skin is the weeping white of opium sap. Inebriating beads of ecstasy drip off her breasts. Eyeshadow, stark against her pale face, painted wickedly in the shades of a bruised soul. Jaded green eyes flash behind raven lashes. Sultry glances that will slice you open and relieve you from the burden of life. Hair falls in scarlet waves reflecting a crimson moon. Lips as red as blood caught in a final kiss.
She stands there perfect.
So perfect.
Let me die.
The delicate face contorts into a scream. No, it should be a scream but all that resounds is silence. Such agony. I've never seen such pain. Take everything from me. I had nothing and it was taken. Violently taken. Give it back.
Rivulets of blood stream from where her heart should be. The sound a cacophony echoing dementia. A symphony of Hell or of Heaven or whatever fucking took her from me.
The blood flows. Her chest pulses with life unborn. Spastically. Angrily, in ways no heart should beat.
I awake.
_________________________________
PM me if you'd like it and want to read more
ShatteredParadigm (http://www.legalhighsforum.com/private.php?do=newpm&u=98)
Darkened pupils darken dreams,
the minds of men are fragile things.
I see her
When the exhaustion overtakes me,
when the lines blur and each saccadic eye movement
flashes her image lucidly into my mind.
I see her
in the reflections of pictures,
pictures of people,
memories that don't mean much, other than everything I once loved.
She is my dream, she is my nightmare.
No, she is my only dream.
She is a nightmare, not mine
but she has chosen me.
I take stock of my inventory, my equipment for my journey.
Xanax, Valium, Trazodone, OTC sleeping pills, pure GABBA and 5-HTTP. Oh yes, her calling card. Opium. Raw and unrefined. Maybe half a kilo left. Almost forgot, have two shots of epinephrine and a dose of methamphetamine in case I need to come back. Course, no one is here to give them to me. Maybe it's just to make myself feel safe.
I mix the pills and the powders and down it with some Whiskey, cause that's a man's drink. I used to try to be scientific, carefully measure out dosages; trying to find her signet, her symbol, her seal.
I found her mark to be an art. Painted in chemicals within my brain. Each differing from the last, each needing the feeling only humanity can give. Grotesquely beautiful.
I dose her into my mind and slip from this world. Floor is cold, metal or stone.
Dead.
I am alone.
Fuck.
So quiet, so still. Hours, days, decades pass and nothing matters.
That’s when I hear those footsteps.
Heaven's gate, she walks.
Hell's passion in heels.
I see her for the first time with clarity. The way God must see man. No, the way man must see God.
Her skin is the weeping white of opium sap. Inebriating beads of ecstasy drip off her breasts. Eyeshadow, stark against her pale face, painted wickedly in the shades of a bruised soul. Jaded green eyes flash behind raven lashes. Sultry glances that will slice you open and relieve you from the burden of life. Hair falls in scarlet waves reflecting a crimson moon. Lips as red as blood caught in a final kiss.
She stands there perfect.
So perfect.
Let me die.
The delicate face contorts into a scream. No, it should be a scream but all that resounds is silence. Such agony. I've never seen such pain. Take everything from me. I had nothing and it was taken. Violently taken. Give it back.
Rivulets of blood stream from where her heart should be. The sound a cacophony echoing dementia. A symphony of Hell or of Heaven or whatever fucking took her from me.
The blood flows. Her chest pulses with life unborn. Spastically. Angrily, in ways no heart should beat.
I awake.
_________________________________
PM me if you'd like it and want to read more
ShatteredParadigm (http://www.legalhighsforum.com/private.php?do=newpm&u=98)