Three Elements of Addiction

[shatteredparadigm]

I added my own take to something I found, I hope you find it useful. Somewhat similar to what Pandy said about the etiology of the addiction.


Physical: Physical is the intense euphoria from drug use. It's the neuron's firing to depletion and alterations in brain patterns. Physical is the cocaine blues or the intense agony of opiate abuse. When the highs aren't really that high and you're mostly running in fear of the lows, it might be time to consider stopping.

Mental: Mental is the obsession of drug use. It is also the social and the rituals involved. The oral fixation of a cigarette, the social revelry of a bar. Sometimes the mental is harder to give up than the physical. When you find your mind thinking about drugs for the majority of the day, how to acquire them, how you will use them, time and place. When you go to your mailbox for the 4th time today desperately wanting that package, it might be time to stop.

Spiritual: You can call this what you will, you don't need to believe in god. The spiritual elements are things like honesty, compassion, courage, and trust. When you get deep into drug use, these often falter. Drug abuse is often a very selfish act and demonstrates a lack of compassion towards others. If you've called in sick to work and lied to your family or friends about why you can't spend time with them, then there might be a problem. Many people use to run from their fears, as they say alcohol is liquid courage. For those who are tired of running, it may be time to end it.




As always, I hold the utmost respect for those on this board and believe in personal responsibility and your right to chose to live however you deem best.

[Dr.Juice]

If this forum had a thanks button or rep button I'd do it for this. Great post. I'm actually saving this to my pc

[weaselknot]

If this forum had a thanks button or rep button I'd do it for this. Great post. I'm actually saving this to my pc

its up on the upper right corner. kinda like a reddish circle, I show you.

[Pandy]

Nice post SP :)

[scudinvi]

When you go to your mailbox for the 4th time today desperately wanting that package, it might be time to stop.

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-signs115.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)...However i've ran to the post office desperately several times in one day looking for packages other than legals. That's not to say it does'nt happen with the legals though...:D

[ezenow]

Good post
Erm
I have a problems

Oh well

where's the thank button....found it reputaion
Is this my new home
Where's the old place gone

[shizerbeard]

good post.

Ive been guilty of things from the 2nd two paragraphs there, though not so bad just now :D

[GOA]

Well, this post gets my seal of approval.

[unnamed]

I added my own take to something I found, I hope you find it useful. Somewhat similar to what Pandy said about the etiology of the addiction.


Physical: Physical is the intense euphoria from drug use. It's the neuron's firing to depletion and alterations in brain patterns. Physical is the cocaine blues or the intense agony of opiate abuse. When the highs aren't really that high and you're mostly running in fear of the lows, it might be time to consider stopping.

Mental: Mental is the obsession of drug use. It is also the social and the rituals involved. The oral fixation of a cigarette, the social revelry of a bar. Sometimes the mental is harder to give up than the physical. When you find your mind thinking about drugs for the majority of the day, how to acquire them, how you will use them, time and place. When you go to your mailbox for the 4th time today desperately wanting that package, it might be time to stop.

Spiritual: You can call this what you will, you don't need to believe in god. The spiritual elements are things like honesty, compassion, courage, and trust. When you get deep into drug use, these often falter. Drug abuse is often a very selfish act and demonstrates a lack of compassion towards others. If you've called in sick to work and lied to your family or friends about why you can't spend time with them, then there might be a problem. Many people use to run from their fears, as they say alcohol is liquid courage. For those who are tired of running, it may be time to end it.


As always, I hold the utmost respect for those on this board and believe in personal responsibility and your right to chose to live however you deem best.

White = stims, (i.e. Meph, coke)
Brown = cigarettes

yellow = alcohol & stims
Magenta = all of the above

---------
Have selected the exact phrases that are so true to me, and literally i experience non stop. obviously on the spiritual side, i feel so guilty for lying to my family, and letting down my friends, but then the mental and physical aspects just selfishly overcome those. Stims is my main problems, my friends have seen me have seizures off speed, and seen my wind up in horrible psychotic states, where i begin to accuse them from going behind my back and stealing from me, after staying up for 48 hours just continually redosing. They make me feel complete though..... no buzz really, it just seems to fill a gap thats made only emptier when they wear off, which is why i do 750mg bombs of meph to get that completeness, and lines of coke that just give me the artificial hope that meph isnt the only problem i have, in some way wishing to replace meph with coke, and then feel like ive acccomplished something by dropping the meph..... only to see ive become a coke head!

Was smoking base for the first time at 6am on saturday morning, having got through 0.5g MD, 2g coke, and 6g meph or so since 6pm Friday with the thought in my head "see..... this isn't meph! I can overcome this" ---- never smoking base again, all of my mates were so disappointed, and to be honest.... ive learnt that it's a buzz less worthy than coke when considering length, costliness, and addiction. Luckily ive learnt enough from my past drug use to realize when something is TRULY and completely out of limits and not a solution to anything.

Just since the gf broke up with me after i was drinking 700ml vodka every night, taking 30mg vallium, doing meph non stop each weekend, and trying to hide it from her, and just never appreciating her..... merely taking her for advantage, and appreciating the drugs, ignoring the fact she was trying to help me.

I tried to stop but then when she dumped me..... ive just felt so much more alone over the last month...... i lack confidence completely on nights out or weekday evenings without her, i feel alone, and see my only way of having the confidence (which i used to have without drugs..... yet now need them to bring it back to norm) to get out there and speak/meet new people.... is to take more of these drugs and try to find someone as great as her again. We were going out for a year..... the first 4 months.... after 1 month i started GBL.... and within 3 months.... i was completely hooked. I had 3 seizures, died once, broke my nose (which cost me £4,000 to fix) and cracked my vertebrae..... i was house-bound for X-mas...... suffering the horrible insomnia and jitters of GBL withdrawals (when i never even told my family it was the GBL that caused it all, so they thought it was just one pill i took), and she was the only one there for me.... she was the one i knew would always be there to help me and make things right again, she was the one who actually gave me the courage to leave the house again once my vertebrae was more stable (takes 4-6 months to fully heal, but got better after a few weeks). I bought some GBL in friggin late january after completely quitting for the new year..... she saw it there..... and for her, i poured it down the sink and have never returned to it, not even since we broke up in late August.

She was one of a kind.... at my age its all about partying and one night stands...... i hate that. I hate people who take advantage of women like that and hate how culture today inspires women to have such low self esteem when theyre actually beautiful and have a great personality and intent, to just go out, get plastered, and sleep with whoever, just to try and get some self esteem and feeling of being wanted, only created by our size 2 modeling, truly perfectionist, and womanizing culture of today!

I dont want that, this girl...... she had that slightly, but when we met.... she didnt get off or sleep with anyone for 5 months, until i finally asked her out..... i was never happier to have someone i was linked with emotionally, and i truly loved. I look all around me on nights out...... and all there are is women torn apart by society...... they don't want a "friendly guy to chat with" on a night out.... they'll just take the friendliness as an insult to their character and move on!

I want to stop.... but just dont have the willpower to, esp when if im just at a free house with my guy-friends... my mates who i dont lack confidece around..... they always fucking do meph because i always supply it to them (at little to none profit, charge £10 per g, pay £5 per g (if i buy 25g+)...... but give everyone a free fat line with each purchase, or even if they dont buy, and its just that someone's mate theyve brought, and i dont want them to feel left out, ill give them free lines......and then continue to give away LOADS of lines throughout the night.... not out of the way meph changes me, but out of just my generous nature..... and then the rest goes to pay for what i use on such nights, so i always just end up breaking even.... yet like seeing my mates enjoy their highs whilst their tollerance is low, somehow makes me feel like im not the only one..... but it always ends up as me realizing i am..... and im worse than anyone else mephwise completely). But then the next weekend...... they'll always ask if i could get some more in for the weekend (they know its available online.... but i give online prices, and get better stuff than most websites! and they always know im honest in weighing and purity)...... and then i can't help joining in with the mephing, but also just hate to dis-please..... so dont like to say no, as then theyll just order online... and ill be buying it off them (they dont ever appreciate the free stuff i give them to that extent.... coz they think i actually profit off it!) for £13 per g or whatever theyll want to charge.... which is worth about 1 and a third doses to me..... so winds up expensive



HECK..... right now i feel alone and solitude... so about to rack up about 400mg of 50% quality (as it showed up when i tested its purity) coke i bought from a mates reliable dealer for the streets of london (usually get 90% pure stuff from a good friend who lives in a crack den... yet doesnt do crack and stays off coke, so is just such a genuine guy, and fits the qualities of honesty i love in people! Only met him at a festival this year, but have helped eachother out with stuff loads, and we both trust eachother completely, going down further south in a week for a party he's having, but he's out for the week getting more in, so ive had to buy off these other links)

[ezenow]

Good luck unnamed
Good post
You know the score
Could right a whole load of stuff here, but you know it already
Big difference between friends and associates you sell to
You broke your nose now your eroding it

Take care man

If I did not have many other interests and passions in life other than drug use, they would take over.
Lucky for me I am a creative person and get so much satisfaction / pleasure / the feeling I am doing "what I am suppose to do - right peg in the right hole" when creating new work.
I to am shy, though people think of me as the opposite.
Remind yourself of connecting emotionally with your x and how good that preciouse feeling was and can still be.
Stim highs are in your face full on fuckin A instant with no effort but scoring n snorting.
Life highs when in the thick of addiction seem so dull and boring and require effort overcoming fears etc.
Give them some time though and they do have a good buzz creating a sound personal foundation. One step at a time

Wish you all best in rebuilding your balance.

[shizerbeard]

Big difference between friends and associates you sell to


ive never been a guy who sells, but i have been told some stuff by people who used to and stopped.

They say half the people they know suddenly almost dissapear, never hear or see from them again.

[unnamed]

Good luck unnamed
Good post
You know the score
Could right a whole load of stuff here, but you know it already
Big difference between friends and associates you sell to
You broke your nose now your eroding it

Take care man

If I did not have many other interests and passions in life other than drug use, they would take over.
Lucky for me I am a creative person and get so much satisfaction / pleasure / the feeling I am doing "what I am suppose to do - right peg in the right hole" when creating new work.
I to am shy, though people think of me as the opposite.
Remind yourself of connecting emotionally with your x and how good that preciouse feeling was and can still be.
Stim highs are in your face full on fuckin A instant with no effort but scoring n snorting.
Life highs when in the thick of addiction seem so dull and boring and require effort overcoming fears etc.
Give them some time though and they do have a good buzz creating a sound personal foundation. One step at a time

Wish you all best in rebuilding your balance.

:( don't like to think of the emotional connection with the ex as it just reminds me of how great things were for me before, and how if id just been fucking clever enough to see the drugs were pushing her away..... i wouldnt be in this mess. Now just thinking of how much i missed the way we were makes me so upset.

Only got a bit of charlie, 250mg meph, and no benzos (fuck.... built up a dependence to them stupidly over the last 4 months). think tonight ill just polish off the C, and wallow as i drink away my sorrows in self pity. feel particularly down today.

i know its the stupid way to do things..... i know i should try to get off my feet.... but every time ive tried, i fail. and i just lack any motivation at the moment to do anything constructive for myself so find myself just sitting in boredom thinking of how much i miss a high, or how much i miss the ex (crying actually just bloody thinking about how we used to be! Hate this fucking hole ive dug for myself so much!)

[excee]

shatteredparadigm mate that is so accurate, honestly it is so fitting to my life as i doing more lines why reading this maybe it's time to stop. stims are allso my main problem sniff sniff sniff ....

[shatteredparadigm]

I feel very honored that my words and ideas resonated with so many of you. I'm still struggling but it feels good to know we all share similar pains. Some new ideas are stewing in my mind. Hopefully, they will have value to you as well.

Thank you for all the comments and I wish you a happy life.